Well I Never
by SpikedAngel
Summary: Ok this is both a ConnorDawn and SpikeAngel fic. Its just a short one-shot fic though, not a real lot happens... Basically they play a game of I Never.


A/N: I know I said that Secrets was my first fanfic, and technically it was, it's my first posted fanfic, this is actually the first one that I found on my computer while I was tidying up my files. Well actually, I did another one but I never finished it so it doesn't count. Anyway this is just a short fic that I found funny and was actually half drunk when I wrote so that's why its crap, or at least that's the story I'm going with...

**Well I Never...**

Connor and Dawn looked around before sneaking into Angels office. Yep this is where he kept the alcohol. Once inside they began hearing noises of a different kind and unfortunately they looked under the table just in time to see Angel and Spike caught in a rather compromising position.

"Oh my god," Dawn cried out looking away.

Connor didn't really react, "Hi Dad, Hi Spike he said and continued to reach for the bottle of Johnny sitting on Angels desk.

"Wait a sec," Angel said, "what do you think you're doing?" he stood up about to try and stop Connor when he realised he was fully naked.

"Angel mate, not that I mind but for the nibblets sake surely you could at least put something on," Spike started concerned for his adopted daughter.

Angel was forever thankful he couldn't blush because if he could that's certainly what he would be doing.

"And lil Bit just what do you think you're doing? If you're gonna drink we all may as well have fun and there's a game I'm just dying to play."

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About 15 minutes later Spike had carefully explained the rules of 'I Never' to them. It would have been a lot simpler if his bloody sire hadn't kept interrupting. The rules were you went around the circle each saying something you have never done and the other people in the circle had to each take a swig of the bottle if they had, and thank god they managed to find a lot more bottles.

"I'll start," Connor said giving Spike an evil look, "I've never given a guy a blow job."

He watched as both his father and Spike each took a long gulp unashamedly.

Spike looked back at him, "I've never had sex on a kitchen bench."

Dawn and Connor both reached for the bottle getting looks from their respective parents.

"Are you sure you guys never have?" Dawn asked amazed.

"Vamps don't have much use for kitchens," Spike replied shrugging.

Dawns turn. "I've never licked blood off another mans stomach."

Again both Angel and Spike reached for the bottle. This game was too easy.

Angel looked Dawn right in the eyes and said, "I've never fooled around in a bathtub."

"How did you know?" Connor asked red-faced.

"Vampire hearing."

"But we hear you guys in the bathroom all the time."

"Not in the bathtub, shower sometimes, floor usually, but not the bathtub."

Spike, Connor and Dawn all reached for the bottle. Angel looked quizzically at Spike.

"Dru," Spike explained.

Connors turn for revenge. Spike took a swig from the bottle, "I'm thirsty," he stated and downed the rest of the bottle. "Well that and I wanna get all sloshed and have really loud sex."

"Ewww!!!" Dawn said but due to her little experience with alcohol she was already tipsy.

"I've never done it standing up." Connor finally said. The boy just wasn't that creative.

Angel and Spike again drank, except this time they took much larger gulps realising it would take a while for them to get drunk and trying to even the game up a bit.

Spike pondered his next move realising that he could use this game to find out exactly what Connor and Dawn had gotten up to.

"I've never done it with my niece," Spike stated. With this he got curious looks as nobody took a drink. "Connor, don't ya think there's something you're forgetting? Your Angel's son and I'm his childe, therefore we're kinda brothers and if Dawn's my adopted daughter then she's your niece."

Connor didn't seem at all worried with this and simply took a gulp.

Dawns turn. Her speech had begun to slur, "Well I've neevvver taken it up the ass."

Angel and Spike both reached for the bottle. If it wasn't for the alcohol this game would have been boring by now.

Angel looked at her and Connor, "I've never given head in a highschool bathroom before."

And again Dawn and Connor bore guilty looks as they opened a new bottle and downed about ¼ each.

The game continued and as Dawn or Connor 'I nevered' Angel and Spike both had a drink just as when Angel and Spike 'I nevered' Dawn and Connor had to take one occasionally Angel and Spike taking a drink at one of their partner's 'I never's' and Spike kept getting really kinky ideas.

"I've never chained my boyfriend up and fucked him senseless." Connor said.

Angel and Spike gulped down some more alcohol.

"I've never" hiccup giggle Spike started, "done it on the lounge of the Hyperion."

Angel, Dawn and Connor took a drink.

"Actually Spike I think we have," Angel said looking at his Childe.

"Oh yeh that's right," Spike said and took a drink himself still giggling.

"I've never done it fully clothed," Dawn stated bluntly.

Angel and Spike took a drink.

Connor and Dawn were both really drunk and with each kinky idea they were getting really horny.

"I've never done it in a cinema," Angel said it didn't matter that he'd never been to a cinema with someone kinky enough to wanna do it there; he and Spike seemed to be into staying home these days.

Again Dawn and Connor took a drink.

"I've never done it with a Wolfram and Hart attorney," Connor said his speech slurring.

Angel took a drink glaring at his son.

"I never did it in my parents or parents of my boyfriend/girlfriend's bed." Spike said gleefully.

Connor, Dawn and Angel all took a swig.

"It was right after I... took my revenge." Angel said before anyone could ask. "The way Darla explained it it seemed to make sense at the time."

But Spikes attention was quickly taken away as he watched Dawn and Connor take a drink. He knew he smelled them there, and he was so changing the sheets, actually Angel so was, he didn't do household chores that was far too poofy for him.

Dawn felt really really sick, she was about to say something but she passed out, her head landing in Connor's lap.

Spike giggled, "Lil Bit can't hold her liquor."

"You giggled." Angel said smiling.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"I so did not."

"You so did too," Angel said giggling at him.

"So did you just then," Connor pointed out, finding this hilarious.

Angel started tickling Spike who was giggling insanely. Angel kept tickling him past the point where he would have wet his pants if he was human. Angel turned to look back at Connor but saw that he was sound asleep.

"Looks like your boy's not too good with the booze, Peaches." Spike said slurring.

Angel kept giggling, for some odd reason this was funny.

"You're a giggly one aren't you?" Spike said.

"You started it."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"I so did not."

"You so did too."

"Wanna go have sex?"

"Ok."

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The next morning Dawn and Connor both woke up with massive hangovers, luckily Spike was there with a glass of water and aspirin for each of them.

"Breakfast of champions," Spike stated.

"You don't eat," Connor commented.

"Your point?" Spike asked. "You two had a lot to drink last night." Spike said smiling.

Dawn blushed a crimson red when she remembered what she had confessed last night. "Crap..." She said and took off for her room unable to face either Spike or Angel.

Connor seemed less embarrassed and remembered the stuff that Spike and Angel had confessed too, so he spent most of the day watching TV. Not surprisingly both Dawn and Angel seemed to be AWOL for the day too embarrassed to face anyone. During the course of the following days they both appeared out of their rooms eventually but it took weeks before they could be in the same room, let alone look each other in the eyes...


End file.
